I have not come to you for a while. It feels like so long. Another curve-ball and you are the only one that I can think to share it with.
  My oncologist has been diagnosed with cancer. Not one that can be easily handled but the horrible kind. The kind when you hear your diagnosis you are thrilled you didn't have. It's a lingering cancer too, something that hurts and strips you bare. And to add to this cruel irony it is a haemtogological cancer as well, which is his specialty. Therefore, the thousands of people he has treated or watched die will now fill his mind and haunt his every thought in the many empty days he has ahead.

  I would rather take this burden from him than seen a genuine saviour be stricken so abominously. But I cannot. My only gesture can be to offer myself in any capacity he may need.
  But he will not need me. He has family and friends. He does not need me. He will not pay me to save his life. He will not give me anything but front row seats to what will be the most terrifying time in his life. 
  Who am I to trust if my doctor is not untouchable? Who can I rest my hopes in if anybody may be taken? Will this thing ever show mercy on us?